Should coaches give advice?

This is a controversial question that I have struggled with for years, and outrageously authentic Sandy Vilas, long-time friend of Thomas Leonard and current owner of CoachU, brought it to the forefront of our discussion in January’s meeting.  As coaches, we work in partnership with our clients to move them forward towards their goals.  If we have knowledge that can move them forward, it doesn’t seem productive to withhold it, even in the name guiding them to their own answers. On the other hand, if we jump in too quickly, we risk making the wrong assumptions about what our clients need, which also squelches the productivity of the interaction. 

After listening to Sandy speak, and reflecting on these questions for myself, I came away from Thursday night’s meeting with an amazing sense of freedom and clarity.  For me, I finally “got” the distinction: it’s about having clear boundaries: sharing everything I have to offer with my clients, while clearly defining that my perspective is there for them to use and integrate with their own knowledge, but NOT to blindly follow as a prescription.  It’s also about respect: I need to have the respect to hold back, listen well, and ask good clarifying questions before assuming that the information I’m so excited to share will actually be useful to them.  With this new distinction in my bag of tricks, I noticed an immediate change in my coaching calls Friday morning.  I felt freer to use my instincts to guide me, and you know what?  I wasn’t stepping all over people at all – I was simply offering up what came up as potentially useful, and if it wasn’t, we moved on.

This controversy isn’t going away, and for every coach the answer will be different.  The question for you is this:  What is the most effective way for you to inspire your client to personal clarity and action?  

These are the kinds of cutting edge conversations we are having at ICF these days – and my great thanks to Sandy for flying in from Colorado to inspire and challenge us.  Next month we will continue down this path with live demonstrations from many of our coaches to celebrate International Coaching Week, and a February meeting devoted to Crucial Conversations and Crucial Confrontations.  Come join our community – and take your level of coaching mastery and your business to the next level!

Sincerely,

Nahid Casazza
Aspyrre
(949) 495-1021
www.aspyrre.com

For insights and inspiration, check out my blog:
http://nahidc.blogspot.com/